A Christmas Wedding in the Cotswolds Read online

  ‘What’s wrong? Aren’t you enjoying the salad?’ I ask.

  ‘I’m sure it’s fine. I just love watching you eat. You’re so precise and neat,’ he points out.

  I look down at the plate and he’s right, I never stab at the food in the centre, but instead I work around the outside.

  ‘What other curious habits do I have that you’ve noticed?’ I enquire, peering at him.

  ‘Oh, way too many to trot them out now. Let’s finish eating and head for home. Well, our temporary home for the next four weeks. I’m holding Reggie to that deadline,’ he declares. ‘So, you’d best warn him!’

  5

  In a Perfect World…

  After a leisurely brunch together, Tollie casually suggests that Gray and I go for a walk. As soon as we step outside, Gray looks at me, cocking an eyebrow.

  ‘He’s perky this morning,’ he remarks.

  ‘You noticed that, too, then? Last night he told me that he’s going to see the chiropractor today. After his last visit he was able to stand upright from sitting without a single groan and he was almost back to his sprightly self for a while.’

  ‘It means he listens to what you say, then, which—’

  ‘Hmm. I have my suspicions. He refused my offer to drive him there and I seriously doubt he’s capable of getting behind the wheel this morning. I think he’s expecting a visitor because he couldn’t have been more eager to push us out the door, could he?’

  ‘It was a bit obvious,’ Gray acknowledges.

  ‘Did you notice that Tollie has trimmed his beard, too?’

  Gray narrows his eyes. ‘Am I supposed to be reading something into this?’

  I shrug my shoulders. ‘Who knows? But maybe I’m not the only one he’s listening to, these days.’

  ‘If the pain is getting him down, the chiropractor might suggest it’s time to go back and have another chat with the doctor. Which would only be a good thing, Immi, as it’s been stopping him from being his usual active self. Tollie isn’t a fan of doctors, as we know. Just be pleased that he’s doing something about it and relax.’

  ‘When I popped back to collect my jacket at lunchtime on Wednesday, Tollie met me in the hallway. I spotted a woman in the background sitting on the sofa. When I got home later that day, I asked who she was and he told me her name was Daphne Harris. He brushed it off, almost as if they were old friends catching up, but I’ve never heard him mention her name before.’

  Gray half-turns to look at me, hardly registering any surprise whatsoever. ‘So Tollie has a lady friend, that’s a good thing, isn’t it?’ His eyes crinkle up into a warm smile. ‘You’re not upset about that, surely?’

  ‘Of course not,’ I reply dismissively. I’m simply concerned as to why Tollie is hiding it from me.

  Gray stares at me for a brief second before raising his eyes to the heavens.

  ‘That accusatory look does you no favours,’ I inform him. But to me Gray always looks good; with his floppy jet-black hair that is now almost touching his shoulders, he looks every inch the musician.

  He draws close, slipping his arms around my waist. ‘Stop worrying. If Tollie needs your help he’ll ask for it. Have I told you recently how much I love you?’ Gray asks, changing the subject.

  ‘You have. And worrying is what I do.’

  ‘Well, my sole purpose in life is to change all that. If Tollie thinks he’s adding to your stress levels, do you think he’d be happy about that? No. He’d be mortified. So, cut him some slack and stop trying to be Superwoman.’

  ‘Me, Superwoman? You’re crazy, Gray, but I hear what you’re saying.’ Maybe he has a point. Tollie is entitled to his secrets, like everyone else, but I’d hate to see him get hurt.

  I grab Gray’s hand, and he leans in to softly kiss my lips before releasing me.

  ‘Come on, let’s head over to the copse. It’s a beautiful day and I guess we’d better not hurry back. So, this Daphne is a bit of a mystery, then?’

  ‘I asked Val and your mum if they knew her and guess what? Your mum said she runs the Women’s Institute at Middle Norton.’

  Gray helps me up over the stile and I jump down the other side, waiting for him.

  ‘Oh, I remember Mum telling me that the WI were arranging for one of the locals to make contact with her. She misses her old group of friends, but now she’s back to work she might not have time to get involved. Especially now she’s helping to plan our wedding. Mum is so excited about it,’ he adds, giving me a sideways glance as we head off across the open pastureland.

  ‘You know what’s coming next, then,’ I retort.

  ‘Yes. We need to sit down and have a proper chat, don’t we?’ he replies.

  ‘We do, and I know just the place.’

  I steer him over to the far side of the dense outcrop of trees, where last Christmas we came with our jute sacks to gather the foliage to decorate The Star Gazer and turn her into The Santa Ahoy Special. As usual, Gray never walks in a totally straight line, but he wanders here and there, easily distracted. In many ways the child within him has never left, or that sense of delight at the smallest of things. Perhaps it’s the tunes he carries around inside his head, constantly distracting him. I’m surprised he hasn’t already stopped to pull out his phone and hum a line or two of melody into one of his apps. A creative mind rarely succeeds in completely switching off.

  We make a beeline for one of the trees that was toppled by the exceptionally strong winds we had last November. It’s my favourite spot. It does make me feel a sense of loss, but in this natural setting it’s a reminder that life goes full circle. As the years pass it will rot down and enrich the soil, from whence in years to come little seedlings will, no doubt, spring up.

  ‘I’m waiting,’ I call out, hauling myself up onto the tree trunk, but really I’m more than happy to sit here and enjoy the scenery. As the sun creeps higher in the sky, it filters through the trees and a subtle breeze disturbs the leaves overhead, sending out a cascade of little shards of light. The bluebells are beginning to die back, the blooms past their best. Clumps of wild garlic scattered around the forest floor are now starting to turn and add a pungent smell into the mix. But having trodden over the pine needles that are like a thick carpet in places, they release a powerful and pleasing fragrance that lingers in the air.

  ‘It smells like Christmas!’ I call out to Gray as he hurries over to join me.

  ‘Can I ask you a question before you start quizzing me?’ Gray says, settling himself down next to me.

  ‘Fire away.’

  ‘Forget about the cost, the problems and making everyone else happy – describe your perfect wedding day.’

  I glance down at my hands, folded in my lap, and draw in a deep breath as I take a few moments to reflect.

  ‘A wedding isn’t just about the bride and the groom, Gray. Yes, I’d love to get married on The Star Gazer as we cruise along the canal, but how would we decide who to invite and who to leave off the list? We could make it simple, of course. You and me, standing in our tiny little parish church exchanging our vows, with Tollie, Rona, Fisher and Val as our witnesses.’

  ‘No one else? And afterwards?’

  I laugh. ‘A big party. Relaxed, fun and no real pressure. How about you?’

  ‘Hmm… it’s more complicated than I appreciated, isn’t it? Our friends are as close as family and I’d hate to leave anyone out.’ Gray tips his head back, staring up as a little posse of birds swoop noisily in and out of the branches overhead. Their fluttering wings, as they move from branch to branch, shower us with little bits of debris. I brush them off my lap, smiling to myself.

  After a stressful week, sitting here, I’m beginning to despair of finding the perfect solution.

  Gray leans into me. ‘Hold still,’ he murmurs as he gently teases little pieces of dead twig out of my hair. Then his lips are on mine and I close my eyes, savouring the moment. We have each other and in times of need he is my rock, and I am his.

  ‘I love you, I
mmi. More than anything else in the world. Life hasn’t been easy for you and yet you give so much to other people. I just want to make you happy because you deserve it.’

  My hand snakes up to brush away the hair that is now partially obscuring his face.

  ‘I love your hair this length, it’s so you…’ The sincerity in Gray’s eyes takes my breath away – the depth of his concern is touching. ‘And I don’t want to disappoint you, or the people who mean so much to us. I think we’re safe in Rona and Val’s hands, Gray. I was simply going around in circles and getting nowhere. I’m not making excuses, but Dad always said it was important to learn how to look after yourself and he encouraged me to spend more time outside the house than in. He taught me practical skills, for which I’m grateful. But when it comes to planning a wedding, I don’t have a clue and that’s the truth.’

  As we pull back, Gray holds my hand in his.

  ‘It was just you and your dad, and then it was you and Tollie, so I can understand that. Given his background, your dad was probably trying to make sure you could look after yourself.’

  Gray is right.

  ‘Dad took me off exploring and we did exciting things. We’d climb trees and wade through shallow streams as I shrieked at how cold the water was. He’d build little assault courses, just for fun. After spending his working week training naval officers, he’d come home and put me through my paces. And I loved it, but at school, I started to feel like the odd one out, and not just because I didn’t have a mum.

  ‘On one of our visits to Aysbury I must have said something to Grandma, because Dad’s attitude started to change. If I went to a classmate’s birthday party, he would paint my nails and help me to do something with my hair. Together we figured it out, but I came to realise that none of my friends were like me, so I faked it when I had to because that wasn’t who I was. But I was no saint after Dad died, Gray. I gave everyone here, including Tollie, a hard time, because I was angry that an accident had robbed me of the person who was the centre of my world. But no one gave up on me and I’m simply repaying their kindness, and for the way they welcomed you into the fold.’

  ‘I’m grateful for that, too. Having Mum here has taken a big worry off my shoulders. She’s independent again, which is wonderful, but having her close by and knowing when I’m not here that she has you – well, it means a lot to me. I’m a happy man, Immi, because I have you by my side. And even when we aren’t together, you’re in my heart, always.’

  ‘So, it was the right thing to do getting your mum and Val involved? You don’t think badly of me because I’m not the quintessential bride, desperate to organise every little detail?’

  ‘Heck, no! I’m the one who feels guilty not being here to help as much as I should, considering what you cope with every single day. Look, I’ve been remiss. I’m perfectly capable of liaising with our wedding planners,’ he informs me enthusiastically. ‘I’ll sort the music, naturally, but as for the rest of the arrangements, together with Mum and Val, I’m sure the three of us can pull together and work it out. It will save them constantly dragging you away from more important things and I’m only a phone call away. Let me do this. Unless you don’t trust me to get involved…’

  Gray is offering to step up and is looking for reassurance. I know that working away from home is as much a sacrifice on his part as it is for me, and yet I can see he genuinely wants to do this.

  ‘Our wedding is important to me, Gray, but I can’t focus on it and keep everything else going. So, if you’re sure you have time, then go for it! I’m way past refusing any help I can get.’

  ‘What else is worrying you, Immi?’

  Gray can always see through me.

  ‘I’m worried that we won’t hit the fundraising target to cover the costs for the playground in time for the tenth anniversary. Tollie will want to step in to make up the shortfall, and, with what he’s already given to us to help with the renovations and the wedding, it’s not fair he should put yet another dent in his savings. To get a real handle on where we stand, I’ll begin by going through the figures in fine detail to give the committee a realistic update. Then I can set some target dates to focus everyone, but I’m afraid I’ve let things slip.’

  ‘No, you haven’t, Immi. You’ve just been pulled in too many different directions at once and I should have realised that. Anyway, what else is there to resolve on the wedding front before you leave me to liaise with our little team?’

  ‘It’s down to me to decide what colour scheme I want. Rona and Val are pressing me to decide on a dress and we’ve leafed through a number of bridal magazines, but nothing I’ve seen feels like me. You aren’t expecting some vision in white, are you?’ I ask, doing my best not to sound apprehensive.

  Gray raises my fingertips to his lips and kisses them.

  ‘I don’t mind whether you come towards me wearing a princess dress, or your elf suit. Just make sure I know what the score is, so I don’t get what I’m wearing totally wrong.’

  ‘You want a Christmas-themed wedding?’ I laugh, knowing he’s not serious about dressing up.

  ‘I don’t really do the morning-suit thing,’ he admits and now he’s being serious. ‘I’m not big on neck-ties, either, but if you insist then I’ll do it. And I will write out my guest list, but I don’t want to choose my best man until we can finally fit in that trip to London so you can meet everyone. I’m trying to fix the earliest date when everyone will be around and it isn’t easy, but I want to show you off at long last.’

  I don’t really understand the ins and outs of Gray’s job and the thought of meeting his friends for the first time is a little daunting. Not least because we’ve already cancelled a trip up to London twice in the last year, once because Rona wasn’t very well and the second time because it was snowing. I can see from the expression on his face that this means a lot to him.

  ‘Of course,’ I reply breezily.

  ‘Thank you, Immi. It doesn’t feel right handing over a list of people who are just a bunch of strangers to you. Besides, my credibility is going to soar,’ he declares, amused by that thought. ‘I still can’t believe someone as beautiful, kind and intelligent as you would put up with someone like me.’

  ‘Like you?’

  ‘Off-the-wall, a music nerd. Fortunately, most of my friends are the same.’

  ‘On the meet-up, I’m not going to be walking into a room full of men wearing suits, then, with wives or girlfriends on their arms wearing posh frocks?’

  Gray bursts out laughing. ‘Hardly. Nathan has been wearing the same style of jeans since 1990. Reece is a night owl when it comes to work, much to the annoyance of his girlfriend, and rarely surfaces before 11 a.m. But he’s in a band, as well as being a songwriter. They’re a good crowd and they’re gonna welcome you as warmly as I was made welcome here. When was the last time you visited London?’ Gray looks at me quizzically. Because he works there, it’s the last place we think of for a break away and, anyway, I prefer the country to the city.

  ‘I’ve only been to London twice. The second trip was to celebrate my thirteenth birthday and Dad took me to Harrod’s. We had afternoon tea in the café, and it was the first time I felt grown-up. I wore a dress that day because it was a special treat and I remember catching him looking at me and what I saw reflected on his face was pride.’ A lump rises up in my throat, and I take a deep breath to compose myself.

  ‘We could travel up on a Saturday and meet everyone for a drink, then come back the following day. What do you think?’

  Gray doesn’t ask for much so it’s time to make this happen. I’ve noticed that on a number of occasions recently he’s dropped into the conversation that his boss, Oliver, has asked when he will get to meet me. I’m wondering if Gray is going to ask him to be his best man.

  ‘Sounds good, although I could take a Friday off as holiday and come up on the train. If I stay for the weekend, it will save you all that driving back and forth.’

  ‘I’ll fit in with whatever wor
ks best for you. And talking about little jaunts… we haven’t discussed the honeymoon,’ he adds. ‘Not that there will be any money left in the bank after the overspend on the cottage.’

  ‘I was thinking we could delay the honeymoon until next summer. It’s not customary, I know, but in case we get a snowfall, I’d rather be here to keep an eye on things.’

  This isn’t just about Tollie, but last year the whole community had to gather together to get through what was a tough couple of days when a blizzard descended on Aysbury.

  ‘The thought of simply being able to enjoy our new home over the festive period is rather inviting,’ I continue. ‘We can take some long walks and cosy up in the evenings, in front of the fire. There are a few day trips we’ve been talking about doing for ages, too. I rather like the idea of leisurely waking up each morning and seeing where the mood takes us.’

  ‘Perfect. Once I’m working on the next contract, we can get something booked as I intend to fly you off to an exotic location then.’

  ‘Things have sort of come to a head, haven’t they? In a good way, I mean. I was beginning to panic but I didn’t want to worry you, Gray. That’s another reason why I didn’t tell you on Monday about the burst pipe. There isn’t anything you can do when you’re not here and it’s my fault that the contingency fund turned out to be hopelessly optimistic.’

  ‘Hey, babe, it’s no one’s fault. These things happen. I’m only sorry that we had to slip the wedding date to December because of my workload.’

  ‘Well, as it turns out, there’s absolutely no way we could have had everything sorted in time. If it had all gone ahead, you know that we’d be looking at getting married a week from today? Imagine that and coping with moving back in with Tollie.’

  Gray chuckles and I join in. ‘That’s a no. Anyway, Christmas is my favourite time of year,’ he replies.

  ‘Mine, too. It was obviously meant to be.’ And I truly believe it was, so it will all come together… somehow.